I'm here in Liverpool... and life is life.
I'm beginning to wonder if the weather is getting to me or if, dare I say, I'm getting a bit bored with it all. The skies are gray most of the time here and it seems to give the impression of lifelessness -- mind you, we've been spared the rain that we had all during the summer -- but I just wish it would do something! Snow even... the weather doesn't make the days very distinguishable. We've had our day lights savings time here, about a week or so before you at home, and the sun begins to set around 3:30 I'd say.
The early evenings are beginning to remind me of Christmas time... it doesn't help that they've had x-mas decorations up in the shop windows since early October --- coinciding with their Halloween decorations.. that's just strange.
Halloween... it's a strange thing, but Halloween had made me remarkably homesick. I found myself working my first night shift, behind the bar in about 5 months. I've been spoiled by my faovorite Irish boss and have had the luxury of working only day shifts as a waitress on the floor. In a pinch and in an act of desperation -- he had asked me to stay until mid-night to work the bar.
There I found myself standing behind the bar feeling completely out of place -- not being able to chat the customers like my waitressing position allows me to do. Having a chat when there are 30 people staring at you to serve them just doesn't go over smoothly. Anyway... in came the freaks, geeks, and skantly dressed locals girls, they calll it fancy dress over here, which I just think is strange. Anyway, though I was there physically, my mind was at home and I found myself day dreaming about what my family was doing and where I was last year on Halloween.
One of the hardest things for me being away from home is that I'm trying to cope with missing Seanna -- my neice. I thought about taking her our trick or treating in her little bunny costume -- and I thought about how I was able to be a cruel treat giver at my mom's house when the little hellians from the reserve came over to beg for treats -- every once in a while I was taken away from my retreat and brought back to Liverpool each time someone shouted their drink orders at me -- somehow, they think by ending each order shouted with the word "love" at the end it makes it all better -- PINT OF GUINESS LOVE! Blah.. How dare they interrupt my remincing about the good old times -- don't they know what it's like to be away from home.
Halloween was never a sentimental time for me -- but it seems that these days my emotions, age, and a combination of being so far away from home all of the time allow for any sort of situatuion to become overwhelming. I'm a bit worried about what Christmas time will be like.
There, I said it, I'm home sick.
Intellectually -- well, school is my life. If there was ever an addiction to have, I suppose going to University isn't necessarily a bad one to have -- except over here it costs double what it would cost at home. The trick about all of this is that it takes half of the time.
I found myself browsing Masters programs over here... trying to figure out what I could that would actually land me a job -- I've come to realize that my current degree's are practically useless over here and, well... it's about time I do something that I want to do --
TESOL -- yeah, that's right -- Korea flashback. Teaching English as a Second Language. Why not I thought. Thinking back to Korea -- cutting through all of the homesickness, infinite hangovers, nights out until 7 am, and all the rest of it, I actually remembered that I liked standing up in front of that class room. I really did like preparing my lessons, and apart my my lack of smiling and affection from my students -- I've realized that I really did like teaching. How's that for soul searching. £8,500 British Pounds for one year of university -- international student for you. That's, $16,777 CDN dollars!
Anyway -- the allure to this degree is not only can I work after ward, but it's recognized all over the world. You all know that I'm not one to stay put very long... so this would be fantastic. I've looked into it and am beginning to seriously consider it. The difficult part is trying to dig up and harass old profs to write me, yet again, a reference letter. So -- that's where things are heading for now.
Of course there is the issue with Visa's... and all the rest of it.
What else -- I'm applying for a UK licence -- haha. The opposite side of the road, here I come. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about all of that, but when I sit in the passengers side of Saeed (my boyfriend)'s car I try to envision which lane I'd turn down, where my signal light indicator is, and ... well, all the rest of it. He's a brave man -- he's insured me on his car which means sooner than later I'll be a big girl and finally drive again. Truthyfully I really do miss driving -- I wonder what it will be like.
So that's it for now.. lack of photo's I know -- but at the beginning of this blog I felt really home sick -- but at the end, I've reminded myself just how fortunate I am in my life here --
I'll be sure to post sooner than later about -- my first trip, where there were 2 suitcases rather than one and post some photo's of this mystery man of mine.
Miss you all lots...
